Humor & awkward moments by Zero Dean, based on weird thoughts & real-life experiences.

Dental adventures (part 2)

10:47 AM

I just plucked some nose hair --

because I have 2 root canals scheduled in just under 3 hours and if the person performing the procedure is going to judge me, I don't want it to be for unruly nose hair.

Now please hold while I cover my teeth with whiteout.

10:55 AM

The last time I had work done on a tooth, it went like this...

"Ok. You're going to feel a bit of a pinch and then the pain is going to go away."
"Ok... ow!"

"Ok. You shouldn't feel anything now. Do you feel this?"
"Ow! Yess."

"Alright. We'll give you a little more. Do you feel this?"
"Oww! Yesh."

"Hmmmm. You appear resistant to novocaine. Do you feel this?"
"Yesshh. Ow!"

... 4 hours later ...

"Ok, do you feel this?"
"Ow! Yesshhh!"

So, you can tell I'm really looking forward to today.

:)

But seriously, it's a new experience. I actually do look forward to it. And also, chewing comfortably on either side of my mouth.

If that happens, I'll be as pleased as the Kool-aid man.

OOOOOOH YEEEEEEAH!

12:11 PM

Dentist from last night's call:

"So yeah. We have you scheduled for 1:30. We should be able to get you right in, so if you could show up 5 to 10 minutes early, that would be great."

Shows up 80 minutes early.

O_o

4:22 PM

I lived.

4:31 PM

Turns out I am still *surprisingly* resistant to novocaine...

It also turns out that the conversation I posted with my dentist from 20 years ago is *surprisingly* accurate for today's shenanigans, too.

O_O

4:35 PM

Not only did I get 2 root canal procedures, I also get an upcoming tooth extraction thrown in for good measure!

*The tooth I broke 5 years ago (which was one of the teeth I had worked on today) doesn't have enough integrity to hold up to long term use.

In summary, he's an evil lazy bastard and he has to go.

4:41 PM

After a number of x-rays today, I had to ask...

"Are these x-rays going to make me a mutant?"
"No. There really isn't much radiation at all."
"That's disappointing. I was hoping for superpowers."

She laughed.

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