Humor & awkward moments by Zero Dean, based on weird thoughts & real-life experiences.

The Law of [sandwich] Attraction

Walk into Subway. Chatting with the guy making my sandwich.

He rings me up. Gives me my usual 10% discount.

And then, "Oh yeah. Hey, did they give you a free sandwich yet?"

'What!? No? Why?'

"My boss said to give you a free sandwich last week." -- (I've been away since last Wednesday) -- "I'm going on vacation tomorrow, but when you come in next time, remind them to give you a free sandwich."

!!!

[Note: I have no idea what I've done to deserve a free sandwich or a favor from the boss. Other than just be my usual unusual self. Perhaps he reviewed security camera footage and discovered that I always make faces at security cameras in the event someone actually reviews the footage. But really, who knows? In any case...]

It becomes clear to me now, I may not have any game when it comes to the ladies, but I have somehow become a master at attracting free or discounted food and coffee.

If only I could come up with a way to turn this ability into a viable business plan. I'd make millions!

Hmmm.

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